Who are 'the least of these' ?

Henri Nouwen wrote "Compassion is not a bending toward the underprivileged from a privileged position; it is not reaching out from on high to those who are less fortunate below; it is not a gesture of sympathy or pity for those who fail to make it in the upward pull. On the contrary compassion means going directly to those people and places where suffering is most acute and building a home there" 

Two nights ago we heard a man snoring outside our apartment door. Typically we have an outside door that remains locked but this night it must have been left open and this older homeless man made his way inside to get out of the wind. Our hearts broke and as my husband wandered around the house brainstorming what we could give this man, I was thinking of our 'extras'....Maybe we didn't have a blanket to spare but we had an extra thick curtain that can offer warmth. I grabbed a small pillow from the couch but Manasa pulled out a bag with two extra full length pillows. He went out and offered the pillow and 'blanket' to the man who was grateful (and he returned them in the morning). As we went to bed we were still brainstorming how much more we could do. 

And I was convicted.... convicted because my heart still struggles with full abandon to 'giving'. I automatically think of my needs first, my survival....THEN sharing what I have with others. My heart is still full of compassion but my flesh still sneaks in. I lay there asking myself "Why didn't I take the blanket off my bed? My apartment is plenty warm without it. Why didn't I offer one of my two pillows that I sleep with?" And I turned to confess to my husband and to God and still battle that dilemma-- how do I take the next plunge. Yes I am 'giving'....but how much sacrificing will I do.   


The next day we discussed some ideas for the return of this old man, wanting to build relationship with him. We threw out ideas of offering a hot shower, doing his laundry with some extra clothes on hand, perhaps making him a warm breakfast.  We realize opening our home to one man may lead to many other curious bypassers stopping by....but I cannot limit my love based on who might take advantage of me, or how it might overwhelm me. That's in God's hands. The old man has not yet returned the past few nights. His pillow and 'blanket' remain in the closet by the front door just in case.... and my heart is now more prepared....to give abundantly, not out of my 'extras' but instead out of my 'best'... Another lesson in the process of being learned :)